My Jealous Mistress

Nicola at the window

After many years, I decided to call it quits with Lexi. On January 1 of 2016 I said I was done. I moved away. But after a few months, she and I planned a renewal. Fate intervened (I broke my hand), and a rapprochement was not to be. I thought it was over.

But late last year, I thought ‘what could it hurt to see if the old magic is still there?’ Things went slow at first, then it kind of got out of hand, and before I knew it Lexi was starting to take hold of me again. I yielded to the siren call, but then said  ‘no I can’t,’ then ‘oh geez,’ then ‘I really can’t.’ I promised myself that it was over. I thought I was safe.

Then, two hours before I planned to make my final escape, she said “not so fast!” I was at her mercy, knowing it was wrong, but unable to unleash myself from her jealous grip. The back and forth continued for many weeks. We had a fling in Hood River, a couple of more in downtown Portland, even a couple of short trysts in Johns Landing. She would not let go.

Any of you who have gone through something like this knows that it is at once tantalizing and depressing. How can logic fail us at a time when we need it most? Why does sensibility fade as the need for it becomes profound? Where is willpower?

Lexi, you see, is a jealous mistress.

I am not the first to have known this. In fact, it was Judge Joseph Story in 1829 who first coined the phrase: “The Law is  jealous mistress.”

Lexi, you see, is the Law.

Some readers may recall my commitment to abide by the Brett Favre Rule: Go out on top, and then stay gone. (Don’t do what Brett Favre did.) After passing the Oregon Bar exam at age 65, however, I couldn’t resist going ahead and getting sworn in, but promised myself – and my readers – that I would file for retired status promptly thereafter. I confess my weakness. I did not do that. You see, a good friend of mine and avid reader, attorney Steve, emailed me two hours before the swearing-in saying “Not so fast! I wanted to talk to you about helping me with my Hood River clients…” Well, there followed a month of back and forth before I finally – finally! – did what I needed to do.

brett favre hero

Lexi and I are done now. Really. It’s over. And it should have been done long ago. Because going back into law would have seriously interfered with my ability to travel.

And goof off.

And write posts for this ridiculous blog.

8 thoughts on “My Jealous Mistress

  1. Do you swear on a stack of Bibles? You are sometimes fickle, for all of your legal expertise. Are you sure you don’t want another airplane and a business write off? Or maybe buy a horse farm and a tractor? As you say Lexi is jealous and needs you. Be careful my friend!

    Like

  2. Good for you!

    On Wed, Jun 27, 2018 at 6:44 PM 2 WASTED MINUTES wrote:

    > Ken Fransen posted: ” After many years, I decided to call it quits with > Lexi. On January 1 of 2016 I said I was done. I moved away. But after a few > months, she and I planned a renewal. Fate intervened (I broke my hand), and > a rapprochement was not to be. I thought it was ove” >

    Like

  3. This is absolutely hilarious. I loved reading it! Thank you….

    Clarene

    On Wed, Jun 27, 2018 at 6:43 PM, 2 WASTED MINUTES wrote:

    > Ken Fransen posted: ” After many years, I decided to call it quits with > Lexi. On January 1 of 2016 I said I was done. I moved away. But after a few > months, she and I planned a renewal. Fate intervened (I broke my hand), and > a rapprochement was not to be. I thought it was ove” >

    Like

  4. I know; it’s hard to retire and stay GONE after an illustrious career. There’s still so much info rattling up in the old brain…

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s